


Oversharing & Epiphanies

by HeartEyesTurner



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:53:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23958748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartEyesTurner/pseuds/HeartEyesTurner
Summary: A night of brutal honesty with a man who's well-being you care very much about
Relationships: Alex Turner (Musician)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Oversharing & Epiphanies

**Author's Note:**

> This is a love letter of sorts to Turner. I’ve been stuck trying to give my other half-finished fics some life, when I just couldn’t. So I wrote this. It’s smutty, and funny, and honest. There are a lot of things in this that I would like to say to him personally (and do to him lol) and it was something I didn’t even know I needed to write until it just came pouring out. It was cathartic on so many levels. Also, this takes place right now. As in yesterday and today. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. And that it feels comforting in some way if you’re feeling a little lost in these trying times lol 
> 
> Lauren xx

Oversharing & Epiphanies

The saddest melody filtered out of the piano paired with the mumbled garble of a slightly toasted Alex. Not shortly after, a loud _Plink! Plank! Plonk!_ followed by the smashing of his entire hands on the keys echoed in the little parlor.

“Well that was lovely.” You teased, taking a sip of your drink before alternating your fingers back and forth on two of the keys. “Is this what they mean when they say tickling the ivories?” You asked him and he cracked a lop-sided smile. It didn’t quite reach his ears, but it was there.

“Not quite,” He told you softly, “‘ere, like this…” Taking your hand he placed each finger on a different key and then covered your hand with his own to press down. A much more delightful sound was produced and you grinned. “More like tha.”

He helped you play a few more bars, gently guiding your hands. He was delicate like that, and a very good teacher with a surprising amount of patience. “I think you might play better when you’re intoxicated…” You murmured, and he growled and grabbed your hands pounding them along the keys. “Very mature,” You laughed, turning your head to give him a look.

He squinted his glossy brown eyes at you, pressing his forehead to yours and pounding the keys once more. “Fook. Off. Why are yeh even ‘ere harassin’ meh anyways? Who invited you?” His eyebrow arched and he grinned, the smell of wine on his breath sweet.

“Oh that was _you_. Have you forgotten already?”

_“Wot are yeh doin’?” Alex asked you, leaning over to see what your phone screen said. The collar on his jacket was pulled up around his ears, and he had a centerpiece from the party tucked under his arm, practically crushed now._

_“I’m getting an Uber. I’m not walking the rest of the way like this.” Your hands were already freezing after a moment without gloves, and your ears were like ice. It was the coldest January in London in a very long time._

_“Blehhhhh!” He shouted, his tongue hanging out of his mouth dramatically.“Put that away. Yeh can stay wiv me tonight.”_

_“What if I don’t wanna stay at yours?” You yelled back to him, the snow flying directly into your faces. “What if I want my own bed?”_

_He stopped dead in the snow, “Wot? Me bed isn’t nice enough for yeh?”_

_“Keep walking!” You laughed, your voice carrying off into the wind as you pointed to his front door._

_“Wot?”_

_“ALEX! It’s cold!”_

_He grinned and hurried past you, or what he thought was hurrying. It was really a little bit faster shuffle, but he stomped up the steps and unlocked the front, ushering you in. “C’mon, c’mon, get inside, love…_

“ _Was_ that me?” He scrunched his face up and spun around on the bench, off to get another drink. “Yeh want another?”

You tried your hand at those same notes he just helped you play, but with no luck. “Planning on a good hangover tomorrow?”

“Ohh… as if that’s any different than the past few months…”

“Well, it’s good to see you have a sense of humor about your burgeoning alcoholism.”

He held a glass over your head in front of you, “Can yeh honestly joost fook off alreadeh?”

Snorting you took a sip of whatever concoction he’d whipped up, “How is it that you always make a decent drink when you’re drunk? This is so good.”

He plopped down beside you again, “Not tha drunk. And fanks. Doesn’t ‘ave a name, joost made it up.”

“So is all of this just an act, then? The sad piano songs about your ex and the long-faces at the party? Messing around with women who are bad news for you and spending your evenings sulking in the corners of bars pretending like you’re having the time of your life?”

“ _Ouch_ …” He played another little melody on the piano, “yeh realeh came for meh, didn’t yeh?” He raised an eyebrow, and grabbed his glass again. “I appreciate your candor.” He smirked around a mouthful of liquid.

“I’ve always been honest with you… why would I change now when—“

“When I need it the most?” He finished your sentence as he often did. “I fink thas why weh’ve been friends for so long.”

“Be honest, the real reason you moved back to London wasn’t because of a couple of broads who fucked with your heart, it was because you missed me so much you couldn’t stand it.” You elbowed him and he chuckled.

“Subconsciously, maybeh.”

You clutched your heart, “ _Ouch._ ”

“You asked for honesty.” He simpered, leaning on his elbow and looking at you with those doe eyes.

“Touché. I deserved that.”

Evenings like this were not uncommon between the two of you, but admittedly they didn’t happen as often since Alex had moved. But whenever he was back in town, he rang you up. Girlfriends got jealous easily, but that was their own insecurities. They didn’t understand the relationship you’d built over the past decade or so.

Presently, there was no girlfriend in the picture. It had taken six months for the bonehead to figure out he was being used, despite the warnings from his friends and family. But he was stubborn. Stubborn and in love with the idea of being in love. Also, broken-hearted. That much was crystal clear. But at least since mid-January, he’d managed to figure _some_ shit out.

Alex liked when you were around. He felt good and safe, and human. Which seems like a pretty stupid thing to feel, but he didn’t always get to feel that way. Most of the time he felt like an animal at a petting zoo, entertainment for everyone around him. And that was when he was _off_ stage. He’d been realizing more that the older he got, the more he craved intimacy in ways he couldn’t seem to achieve. Proper companionship, stability, security, honesty; all things that seemed to be a dying art in the modern age. He could write all the songs he wanted about his frustrations with it, but he couldn’t escape it. It was everywhere. Especially in the women he dated. But you weren’t like that. You were you and you never asked him for anything more than for him to just be him.

He was making up words to the song he was playing just now, a tune he’d been messing around with since the tour had begun; already itching for new material. The lyrics were silly, half-Christmas, half-commentary on the objects in the room. Like the centerpiece.

“Why did I bring… that fookin’ thing ‘ome…” He sang, chuckling through each made-up verse. He leaned his head on your shoulder, always needing that physical contact. “It were the last one left… a little bit… neglected… a little bit… mangled… sort of like… _me._ ” His hands came down hard on the last note, and you burst into laughter.

“Oh my god! Is that a smile? Are you… _laughing_??” You exclaimed, prodding at him, his natural reaction to jack-knife into himself. “So uptight, lately. You lost your sparkle, Turner.”

“Wot? I ‘ave?”

“Uh… _yeah._ I missed that face. You’re actually starting to look more cute and less like a pathetic miserable bastard.” You reached for his cheek and slapped it gently.

He held your hand there, “‘ave I realeh been a pathetic miserable bastard?”

“Alex, yes. But that’s alright. I can already see the change happening. It’s good.”

He held your hand to his face still and nuzzled into it, “That’s because yeh bring out the best in meh.”

“Well, naturally.” You teased, feeling his beard beneath your palm, his cheek warm and a little flushed. And while he certainly didn’t look completely like himself quite yet, he was getting there. The scruffy face and messy hair and dress shirt with all the undone buttons was a look that suited him. The smile though, that was what really made him look like himself.

It had been somewhat of a fancy affair, suits and dressy shoes and all that, and his black tuxedo-striped pant leg brushed up against yours, the gold sequins reflecting off the lights and casting shadows on the ceiling.

“God you were so angsty for so long… after the breakup. This one you’re taking quite well.”

“Thas because weh all know what it realeh were…” He murmured, a little sneer on his face as you watched him grapple with the inner monologue he was clearly having beside you.

“Listen… don’t go down that rabbit hole again. You made it out alive, safe and sound, in one piece.”

He laughed again, his amber eyes glossy and brown and sparkling for once.

“Since we’re uh… doin’ the whole honesty thing… I need to know something I find to be very vital information.”

“I”m an open book, babeh.” He held his hands out wide, including yours which he was still holding.

You squinted your eyes at him and he mirrored you back, “Good. Loose Alex, not completely drunk Alex… but relaxed.”

“Relaxed.” He confirmed, closing his eyes and nodding his head.

“When’s the last time you were properly fucked?”

Alex made a raspberry sound and burst into laughter, “Oh I see wot this is… walkin’ meh ‘ome… makin’ meh feel comfortable wiv yeh…” he drawled sarcastically, “yeh’ve been comin’ on teh meh this whole time.”

“Says the man who’s been holding my hand against his cheek for the last five minutes, inviting me in to share his bed, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Alreyt, good point.” He squinted his eyes once more, “Well… I were joost wiv a girl for a few months, so…”

You made a gagging sound, sticking your tongue out. “Did you hear me correctly? I said _prop-er-ly fuck-ed._ ” You sounded the words out for him and he burst into laughter again. “Also you just referred to her as a girl and nothing else so that’s not a gigantic red flag or anything. Besides, I find it completely hard to believe your latest _fling_ was focused on anything else in bed other than herself.”

“Yeh’d be correct.” He muttered, his lip twitching a little, his eyes dancing a little more than they’d been before.

“Yikes! Alex…” Your head fell back, “… then what was the point even—- never mind. Not now. The last time. When was it?”

He puzzled over his response for far too long. Not an uncommon thing for him to do, but for someone who was an international rockstar dating models, it shouldn’t have been this difficult to figure out.

“To be honest… I can’t actualleh remember.”

“Then it’s been far too long. And we should probably change that. I know how difficult it is for you to make the first move. I’ve seen it in action and because it’s so fucking excruciatingly painful… I’ll make it easy on you.”

“Yeh want meh, yeah?”

“Well…” You crossed your leg so it draped over his, his hand drawn to your knee instantaneously. Grabbing his collar, you batted your eyes, “you know I’ve always held a flame for you…” you bit back laughter but ended up snorting and Alex completely lost it.

“FOOK. OFF.” He laughed and made like he was shoving you away, but instead pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn’t like one of those perfect movie kisses, no, it was more like the two of you knocking your teeth together from smiling at your dig on his ex.

“The _candor._ ” He murmured as you held him closer, your fingers curling under his collar. His hand sliding up your thigh. “Turnin’ meh on by talkin’ shit about me exes… wot a lass.”

You laughed, licking your bottom lip and in turn, his. “Made you smile, didn’t I?”

He nodded, his hand at your neck, his thumb stroking your jaw, “You did.” He looked you over, studying you a moment before leaning in for more. “Always do.”

The kisses got better the more relaxed he felt, long and lingering, languid; little pecks at your lips and smiles in-between. And before you knew it, you were leaning into him and he was pulling you onto his lap.

Your ass hit the keys and you both giggled, “Only the good notes.” He murmured and you kissed him hard, before pulling away. He was reluctant to let go.

“I just,” You held your finger up, and found yourself losing your concentration at the way he looked. Swollen lips, wrinkled shirt, flushed cheeks. He was cute. He’d always been cute. “want to make this perfectly clear… this is not a pity fuck.”

He nodded, his hands pushing up your dress. “Alreyt, noted.”

“Also. I’m an incredibly good shag.”

Alex’s eyes widened, twinkling in the dim lights. “I don’t doubt that.”

Your smile spread from ear-to-ear and you gave him a simple shrug, “That’s all.”

His fingers pressed into your thighs, his thumbs turning circles. “Any other disclaimers, love?” He asked you, his voice low and soft.

“Yeah. Don’t hold back.”

He sniggered, but he was fully aware of what you were doing for him. “‘ow repressed do yeh fink I am?” Alex lifted his eyebrow into that devastatingly seductive arch, and you mirrored him back as you often did.

“Seriously? You want me to get into all that right now? When you’re hard and I’m wet and I’ve just granted you complete sexual freedom for the evening?”

He shifted at the mention of how hard he was, “Mmm… good point.”

“Yeah…” You breathed with a slight nod, your mouth hovering over his, teasing him as you slid your hands inside his jacket and around his torso. His waist was small but soft and he moaned against your mouth when you scratched from his shoulder blades to the small of his back. “Not ticklish?”

His lips moved against yours, lingering, “Not like this.”

“Hmm… good to know…”

His nose brushed against yours, pausing for effect, “You?”

Your hands stilled, and it took him mere seconds to puzzle it out. His hands were already underneath your dress, but he crept his fingers up your sides brushing against your ribcage. You squirmed, and he grunted in appreciation. Every time he tickled you, you writhed mercilessly in his lap. You grasped his shoulders, squeezing your thighs around his waist every time he moved. He wasn’t rough, he was so gentle, turning you on slowly.

“Alex,” you moaned as he pressed little kisses to your lips.

“Wot?”

“Please… please stop…”

He smiled shifting up on the bench, boxing you in tighter against the piano. _Plink! Plink!_ Your giggle turned into a strangled cry when his thumbs brushed against your nipples through the lace of your bra and back down to your ribs again in a teasing loop.

“ _Alex._ ”

“Wot?” He lifted his hips into yours, the hard length of his cock hot and thick between your legs. “This doesn’t feel good?”

Shuddering when he made the loop again, this time lingering a little longer on your nipples, “It does, but–”

“Wot, love?” He asked in his lazy yorkshire drawl. “Tell meh.”

“Torture.”

Alex’s arms wound around you, hugging you close, lips pressed to your ear. “Thas the point…”

He arched your back over the piano, sitting up and hitching your dress higher up your thigh, bunching it around your waist. With your arms wound tight around his neck, you held him close, afraid to put all your weight on his piano. Smiling against his mouth you murmured, “We’re gonna break this thing…”

“I’ll buy another.” He huffed, semi-jokingly as he brushed his knuckles against your pussy, the fabric damp. “Yeh’re soaked, love.”

“I know,” You whispered, biting his lip as he hooked your leg around his waist trailing kisses down your neck. His fingers glided along the keys, and the both of you laughed. “That was actually a pretty sound… feel free to write a song about me with that melody.”

Alex snorted, nipping at your neck as he lifted you into his arms, “Fink I can carry yeh all the way upstairs?”

You tightened your grip around his neck, holding on for dear life. “Alex. I think that’s a terrible idea. Is that the booze talking?”

His eyes glimmered; that up-to-no-good look he was usually sporting. “Told ya I’m not tha drunk. Wouldn’t do this wiv yeh if I were.”

“Okay but… you can’t carry me up those stairs. We’ll both die. I don’t wanna die yet. Not at least until we’ve had sex. Then ya know, whatever.”

“Fookin’ dramatic.”

“Imagine that headline, though?” You grinned and he covered your mouth in a hard kiss.

“Shutthefookup…” He slurred, his fingers pressing into the backs of your thighs. “Although I’m flattered… sex wiv me as yehr last dyin’ wish.”

You giggled as you made it to the stairs, where he pressed you up against the wall. His facial hair scratched at your chin, as his kisses slowed, taking his time. For a moment, your panting was the only sound in the room.

“Alreyt, love…” He let you down, one leg at a time. With heels on you were the same height, your noses touching. “Get up there.”

Pecking a quick kiss on his lips, you kicked off your shoes and took off to the second floor. “Wot, no seductive little strut or anyfing?” He called to you, still making his way up.

“Why bother seducing you when I already know you want me?” You called over your shoulder, leaping onto the landing and spinning, suddenly face-to-face with him again. He’d caught up. You squealed as he grabbed you around the waist, nearly lifting you off the ground again as he backed you into his bedroom. He’d discarded his suit jacket on the way up, and he’d definitely undone another couple of buttons. Why he bothered with them in the first place was a mystery. Even in the dead of winter his shirts were open halfway down his chest.

He kissed you hungrily, pawing at you by the foot of his bed.

“Take your shirt off…”

He nodded like he was confirming your instructions, the buttons slipping through his trembling fingers. His mood had shifted. “Are you nervous?” You hummed as you planted wet kisses on his collar bone, your nose scrunching up when it brushed past the small patch of hair on his chest.

“M’not,” He assured you as his dress shirt fell open and your fingers slipped just over the waist of his trousers, tugging sharply. His breath hitched.

Smirking, you glanced up at him. “I don’t even have my mouth on your cock yet and you’re—“

“Excited.” He finished for you, his smile mirroring yours.

“I was gonna say a fucking mess, but—“ He grabbed your face, leaning in to kiss you hard.

“Shut the fook up, alreyt? I know I’m a mess, but I’m excited and I want yeh. Thas why me ‘ands are shakin’ and thas why–”

The zipper was loud and the sound echoed through his little bedroom in the two up, two down. But his gulp was louder. You laughed. “You’re acting like this is your first time, Turner.”

“It’s me first time wiv you.”

“Hmm, that’s true…”

“Also… drink’s kickin’ in, so… this all feels… incredibly good. And it’s alreadeh better than I’ve ‘ad in a long while.”

You glanced up from the bulge in his briefs pushing past the split zipper and up into his glossy brown eyes. “Oh you poor, poor boy.” You clicked your tongue, “Do you even remember what a blow job feels like?”

“Fook off.” He hummed, as he pushed his trousers over his ass, letting you take over as you tugged them all the way down.

You’d have to be blind not to notice the tension in his muscles, and you ran your fingertips up and down his thighs, and back behind his knees. He chuckled softly. “I’m trying to get you to relax,” you explained, your smile wide when you heard his laugh; spotted the grin on his perfect lips.

“S’workin’…” He slurred, shivering when you squeezed his cock through the dark navy fabric of his boxer briefs. You bit your lip when you felt him twitch against your palm, and you worked him slowly, squirming as you struggled to find a comfortable position.

Alex cracked an eye open, hearing your rustling around, picking up on your discomfort. “Yeh should touch yehrself.”

It was your turn to gulp, unprepared to hear him say such a thing. “Working on it…” You breathed, pulling back and attempting to pull the sequin dress over your head.

“C’mere… let me…” He leaned over you, his hands gathering your hair and resting it over your shoulder so he could better locate the zipper. Your hands wound around his thighs to hold yourself steady, and you were practically face-to-face with his cock. You couldn’t resist, and pressed your lips against the length of him in the form of a kiss. “H-hey…” He stuttered, another chuckle escaping his lips.

Smiling around him, you moved up, breathing heavily on him through the fabric, teasing him. “So thick…” You hummed, the tips of your fingers creeping up the back hem of his briefs, up his thighs. Anxious to taste him, you felt the wetness of your arousal spreading, and you squeezed your thighs together, moaning into him.

He smoothed his hands across your back along the bare skin, groaning when you squeezed the back of his thighs again. With one last little kiss, you sat back again and lifted the dress over your head, the heavy sequined fabric landing in a thud on the dark wood floor. Alex’s warm, sleepy eyes looked you over, lingering on your breasts and the way your hands rested on your thighs, the sparkle of the rings that dotted your fingers. _Those should come off._ You thought to yourself. He watched you slip each one off slowly, shifting from one foot to the next in anticipation. He sucked in a deep breath when your bra followed the rings in a long list of things that must go, and when your hand dipped between your legs, pressing against your pussy in an attempt to dull the ache, his hand fell to his cock, squeezing himself roughly, before slipping inside the waistband.

“There’s joost. Summat about the way yeh look, kneelin’ like tha in stockings half-dressed…” He didn’t mean to narrate his thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. The liquor was making him lucid and dreamy and he never thought he’d see you quite like this.

This was the moment when you faltered, when he got to saying things like that, looking at you the way he was. “Is that right?” Your voice wavered, your heart thudding behind your ribs. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, creeping up your face. Shifting again, you rocked your hips gently against your fingers that rolled back and forth, teasing yourself before the main event.

“I always thought yeh looked realeh pretty when yeh blushed.” Shaking your head you laughed him off, “Stop that, you.”

“Okay love, I’ll try…” The sweet smile and the mushed together words were too much; you’d underestimated his charm.

“Stop…” You warned him, giggling as you grasped his hips, pressing your lips to his abdomen, just around his wrist. His hand was still wrapped around his cock, tugging slowly. “… stop being so charming with your cute smile and your deep voice…”

He chuckled again when you slid his briefs down, letting them pool at his feet. You couldn’t help it, it just… slipped.

“Did yeh joost… moan?” He teased you, and you grabbed his wrist sharply, stilling his movements. You wanted to _see_.

“Let go, Turner.”

He did as you asked, unwinding his fingers, letting it bob up and down. You traced the veins in his slender hips with the tips of your fingers, eyes roving over him and how gorgeous he was. Thick and throbbing and—-

“Oh fuck you. Of course your cock is perfect.”

Alex couldn’t stop chuckling, he wasn’t nervous anymore. You made him feel relaxed, even when you were face-to-face with his cock. And for the first time in a very, very, _very_ long time, he was having fun. And smiling. And he didn’t feel pressure to be anything but himself. The backs of his fingers brushed through the hair that framed your face, sliding it back over your shoulder so he could see you better. The delicate slope of your neck, the way your breasts swayed when you moved in the amber light of his room.

“I’m sorreh…?”

“Oh, please,” You laughed throatily, “I can’t wait to ride it.” Two sets of cheeks flushed again at that confession and you licked your lips and pressed them to the tip of his swollen cock.

Your mouth was wet and warm as you took him in; your hand holding him tight, squeezing as you bobbed up and down, the sounds of his moans encouraging you. His fingers stroked your cheek and tangled in your hair, his hips rocking gently towards your mouth.

“Tha feels so… fookin’ good…” he groaned when you hollowed your cheeks and took him in as far as you could. It wasn’t the length that was tricky so much as it was the width. _He’s so thick!_ Your mind screamed repeatedly as you struggled to keep him in your mouth. Your cheeks burned, your jaw already starting to feel a bit sore.

You took him in once more all the way, the swollen tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, his head lolling back when you hummed around him. Your eyes watered, but you let your tongue slide back and forth along the underside as he fell from your mouth. His eyes were back on you now, watching as you gathered the saliva on your lips to stroke him. His cock jumped and you giggled, teasing him with your lips, kissing him all over, your tongue flicking out and licking him where your hand wasn’t.

Alex realized right then, that there was a difference between someone blowing you who actually wanted to do it and someone who treated it as a necessary step in foreplay. You were the former, and you _enjoyed_ it. You weren’t concerned about the way you looked, what angle your body was at, how sloppy it was and how messy your face got; you were having fun. It wasn’t picture perfect. It was real. Despite the obvious connection between you both; everything felt so natural. Effortless.

“Fink I did forget actualleh…” He growled softly in answer to your last question as you stroked him up and down roughly, your hand sliding up to meet your lips. With a moan, you let him fall from your mouth once more with a messy slurp. “Tha were a good refresher.” You burst into laughter and he grasped your hand tighter, pulling you up from your knees. “C’mere…”

Cupping your face in his hands, he kissed you hard, his tongue tangling with yours, his cock pressed between you. One hand slipped down the front of you slowly, his fingertips dancing down your breast and around your nipple. He caught it between the backs of his fingers, giving it a pinch and a tug, his thumb smoothing over it. You shivered, leaning into him. When he let down his guard, he blew you away with his kisses; they tasted so good and sweet and you were impressed by the way he moved his tongue; not forceful and aggressive, but skilled and _teasing._ He caressed your mouth delicately, nipping at your lips, biting at you when his fingers found your pussy.

With a moan, he pressed them into your folds, rolling over your clit through the fabric of your tights. “Look wot I’ve done to yeh… so wet, love…” He murmured against your mouth, and your eyes fluttered closed, lost in the feel of him. His fingers were skilled, too. Of course they were. Pretty, and long, and delicate and—

“ _Ohhhh_!” Your moan dissolved into a whimper as he pressed his middle finger into you, the heel of his palm grinding into your clit. You clutched at his shoulders, your hands moving to the back of his neck, raising up on your tiptoes.

He pulled away from your mouth to look at you with half-lidded eyes, his wet-lipped smirk a swipe of devious pink across his face. “Good… yeah?”

You shuddered, biting your lip as he did it again, laughing through the ridiculously delicious sensation. “I-I… hate you… how are you so g-good?” Your voice wavered and he chuckled, kissing you long enough to take your breath away.

“Did I mention that I’m a pretty good shag as well?”

“Oh, fook off.” You hissed in a poor imitation of his accent, biting his full bottom lip.

“Wanna ride meh?”

“What kind of… you fucking know I do…” You smirked when he let you go, pressing your hands to his chest and giving him a shove backwards onto the bed. He shouted, an infectious laugh ringing out into the room. “Top of the bed…” You pointed as you climbed up, standing over him and rolling your stockings down over your hips and ass, turning around to give him a better view.

He leaned up on his elbows before moving back, watching you lift your leg to pull the unnecessary black fabric off. “This is like… me biggest fantaseh come true.”

Your hands fell to your sides with a gentle swing after you tossed the stockings, seeing them sail through the air out of the corner of your eye. “What’s the fantasy? A woman standing over you like this…” Your toes tickled the inside of his thigh as he began to slide backward. “… barking commands, telling you what to do?”

Alex nodded slowly, his gaze traveling up your long legs to linger on your hips, your waist, your breasts and that soft little sway. “Joost didn’t know I wanted the woman to beh you.”

“Ha!” You laughed, tossing your hair back, a smile illuminating your face. Alex grinned harder feeling his cock jump again. “Now _that’s_ truly the booze talking…”

“Stop tha… it’s not… I swear…” He was now sitting back against the headboard, his pillows shoved aside. He scratched at his hair, sending it in all different directions. “I’m havin’ fun wiv yeh…”

You smiled, lowering yourself to your knees on either side of his thighs. “Well I have to admit… it is lovely to see that smile again…” You took his face in your hands the way he’d done to you, your thumbs caressing his soft red cheeks. “It’s been a loooooong time Alexander…”

“Are yeh tryin’ to teach meh summat, love?”

“Sorta…” You confessed, your arm winding around his neck and your hand wrapping around his cock, teasing you both when he rubbed against your clit. The pair of you moaned as he spread you open when you sunk down lower and lower, shifting when that last little bit slipped in. A hushed little “ _fuck”_ fell from your reddened lips.

“Mmm…” He nodded in agreement, his hands grasping your waist. “Yeh’re realleh fookin’…” He drawled slowly, “…tight.”

“Y-yup…” You squeaked as your other arm slipped around his neck, leaning your forehead against his. “God, you fill me up sofuckinggood.”

His little chuckle was cut off by your lips crushing his as you lifted your hips and slid back down, rocking and shifting to get used to him. Your fingers slid up the back of his neck into his short hair, holding him close, your mouth falling open. The way he stretched you open, the feel of his slender hips between your legs, the caress of his hands on the small of your back as he held you. It was all too much.

It didn’t take long before you were riding him hard, pulling at his hair, biting at his lips and jaw, the scruff on his face scratching at your chin. The room was filled with the sounds of your sweaty skin sticking to each other, his grunts and your moans when he squeezed your ass and smacked you. You screamed, leaning back, one hand behind you on his thigh, the other at the base of his neck for leverage. He liked that. Your eyebrow arched as he wrapped his hand around your wrist and moved it it up higher and squeezing.

“That explains a lot…” You breathed, laughing as you tightened your fingers and squeezed your pussy tighter around him.

“Keep fookin’ meh like that, love… yehr cunt feels so good babeh…” He drawled, his head falling back against the headboard.

What a revealing night this was. All the pieces were slowly coming together…

His face was turning red, beads of sweat slipping down his temples, and he grabbed your waist, lifting you as he sat up. He laid you back and spread your legs open for him, the muscles in your thighs aching as he held you down, his mouth covering your pussy in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses.

“OhmyfuckinggodAlex,” Your words tumbled out as you grabbed at his head, holding him closer. His tongue delved inside, and his fingers dug into your skin and he bit your hip as he sat up, draping your legs over his thighs. “Ohh.. what the _f-fuck_ ,” You gasped as he thrust inside you again, using your waist to slide you back and forth on him.

You arched your back; this angle was good. He kept letting his cock slide almost all the way out before slamming back into you so hard your skin slapped together. He was letting go, and he was definitely not holding back. _It must’ve been the choking._ You smirked, your arms over your head, burying your face in your bicep as he fucked you.

His thumb slipped to your clit and your hips jerked, crying out. His eyes were sparkling, that mischievous look back again as he continued to play with you, fucking you harder and rougher as he chased his orgasm. “There… reyt fookin’ there…” He growled, his thumb rolling over your clit.

And then you fell. Your toes curled as you gripped the sheets, that blood rushing in your ears again as he gripped you tighter, a stream of curses falling from his lips as he watched you cum. Beads of sweat fell from his face and onto your stomach as he leaned over you, his hips moving faster, rougher as you gushed around him; the lewd sounds resonating in the room.

“C’mon, Turner… cum for me…” You breathed, your cunt pulling at him as you felt another orgasm building up behind the last. “Cum all over me.”

You were unsure about that last bit but, if he confessed that he liked to be choked, then you could confess that you wanted to feel the hot spray of his cum on your stomach and tits. He grunted and you reached for him, lifting your hips as he came, pulling out quickly and releasing all over your torso like you’d requested. Watching his face was the absolute best. First his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up, like a little snarl, and his mouth hung open, panting and groaning as he tugged at his cock. He squeezed it making sure he got out every last drop.

Biting your lip, you didn’t say a word, just smiled at the way he gave in, the way his hips jerked into his fist… completely free. It was refreshing. And the best gift you could’ve possibly ever given him.

He teased the head of his cock against your clit, and you lifted your hips again, rubbing up against him to get that last little release of pressure yourself. It was a tiny orgasm, a little tremor that made you shake and made Alex laugh and wipe the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“Twice.” He hummed, breathless; his fingertips caressing your thigh.

“Not hard to do.” You whispered teasingly, smiles spreading across both your faces. “How’d that feel?”

He ran his hand through his hair and scratched at the back of his head. You ignored the tattoo of his ex’s name on his forearm and focused on the way his muscles flexed and how oddly cute the hair under his arms was. Little things you’d noticed before, but somehow seemed magnified in this moment. “It felt like I hadn’t ‘ad sex in a long fookin’ time; that’s what it felt like!” You laughed and he slapped the side of your thigh, “It felt fookin’ good. You felt fookin’ good.” He sighed and sat back on his heels as you leaned up on your elbows.

“And at the risk of sounding like a fookin’… twat… I’m glad it were wiv you, love.”

“Ooh, how romantic!” You cried, teasing him. “I’m glad it were wiv you, too.”

He reached for your face, grabbing your chin and brushing his nose against yours before kissing you hard. “Fook off.”

He collapsed on the bed beside you, breathing heavily. You turned on your side, looking him over. Flushed cheeks, sweat at his temples and on his chest, red imprints from your fingers on his neck. Reaching out, you traced them gently.

“So… choking, huh?”

Alex’s eyebrow arched, and he slowly turned his head to face you. It took him a moment to find the words but, “Yeh said teh let go.”

“And let go you did.” You grinned as he grabbed your wrist and pressed your fingers into his neck again. Laughing, you squeezed him just slightly, “For six whole months I literally wanted to strangle you… never guessed you would’ve loved it. Actually… now that I think back on it… you _do_ seem the type…”

//

You watched him rustle around in the sheets, finding a comfortable position and settling in, his hand tucked beneath the pillow facing you. The alcohol had long since burned off, but the exhaustion had set in. He blinked his eyes, one after the other slowly, a sleepy smile on his lips.

“You deserve so much more than you let yourself have.” You whispered to him. “I know you’re tired, and I know we had a long night but… I wanted to make sure you knew that.”

“Yeh’re the only person who’s treated meh like this,” He whispered back.

“What? None of your other friends wanted to sleep with you?” Your chortled and he reached for your face, squeezing your cheeks so your lips puckered up.

“Knock it off, you.” He drawled, lazily. “Yeh’re the only one who ‘asn’t been passive aggressive wiv meh. Everyone tip-toes around meh and leaves meh teh deal wiv me own bullshit. Yeh’ve been honest since day one. I appreciate tha.” His hand found yours under the covers and he held it tight. “Even if I don’t always listen.”

“I know how you are. I figured I’d let you work this out on your own, but I wasn’t going to keep my opinions quiet. And I didn’t plan on this tonight.”

“No premeditated sex with one of yehr oldest mates?”

“Well of course I’ve thought about it before…”

“Me too.” You couldn’t see his face, but you could hear his smile now, “Also, I’m pretteh sure there a few friends that wanted to sleep wiv me.”

You laughed, “Oh, I’m positive of that. But that’s too much unpack right now. You need sleep.”

//

“‘ey… want meh to make yeh breakfast?”

The morning was grey, as it typically was in London, but when you peeled back the covers, there was a very sunny smile and two bright shiny eyes peering back at you.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Wonder why.”

You eyebrow arched, “Are you really this happy just from getting laid?”

“Mmm… yes.”

You’d known him for years, and it wasn’t hard to feel warm and fuzzy over the way he looked in the morning. Matted hair, the sheets imprinted on his cheek, five o’clock shadow and a sweet smile if he was in the mood. He was today.

“Well… I don’t mean to brag but, when you’re _this_ good…” You rasped, teasingly, illicting another megawatt smile from him. In the last twelve hours, you’d seen it more than you had in half a year.

“Naturally.” He drawled, “Eggs?”

“Yes. Eggs are good.”

“Reyt…” He flashed another smile at you and you sat up, watching him saunter out of the room. His ass swayed when it wasn’t in a tight pair of pants and an odd sounding noise came from the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ.”

//

“Your hair looks like a chicken,” was how you announced your arrival in the cozy kitchen.

Alex snorted, glancing back at you quickly, that smirk on his sleepy face. He was standing over the stove in a pair of grey sweats and a navy jumper, pushing the eggs around in the pan.

“Went teh sleep wiv wet hair last night. Slept pretteh ‘ard. Don’t yeh remember?”

Your eyebrows lifted, the corners of your mouth twitching, “Oh yes…”

Of course, you _hadn’t_ forgotten, how could you? What was meant to be a quick rinse to clean off turned into a forty-five minute romp in his little bathroom which included a lot of slippery body parts and a near disaster when you’d grabbed the curtain for balance and almost fell through.

“Almost smashed yer face on the tile.”

“Thankfully. I did not.” You laughed, wondering how you’d explain that one.

“Coffee or tea, love? Or both?”

“Coffee.”

He already had the table set, and poured you a cup. “What service…” You hummed, glancing at him and getting that big bright smile back again.

When he set your plate in front of you, you grinned at the way he told you to eat up, and that he’d remembered exactly how you liked them. If there was one thing he was, it was thoughtful. Always giving so much of himself away to the ones he loved.

You whistled the tune of “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” by Lesley Gore and Alex snorted again.

“Shut it.”

“Did you get your groove back, Turner? Your mojo?”

He had terrible posture and he was slumped in his seat with his hand on his hip as he ate, but he was more relaxed than you’d seen him in the longest time. That knitted brow and and the frown he’d been sporting for months was long gone.

“Might’ve.” He flashed a sweet smile at you again and you both ate in silence, quietly sipping your coffee until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Christ!… Why did you even bother dating these women if you weren’t even getting laid properly?”

“I was lonely.”

You laughed, “Alex! Get a dog then! They love you at your fucking worst and at your best and all they do is live to make you smile.”

“Can’t I joost come play wiv yehrs, then?”

You laughed as you chewed on your toast, “What kind of question is that? Of course you can. Wanna pick him up with me today? We can take him to the pub for dinner as an apology for leaving him with someone else overnight.”

Alex’s chuckle turned into a full on laugh, and it was so infectious you had to join in. “He’s gonna love tha.”

“I know.” You smirked at him, “Spoiled little brat.”

“Me or…..?”

“Both of you! My two favorite men in my life.”

He was done before you, and he leaned on his elbow watching you. “Did weh do a bad fing do yeh fink?”

“Sleeping together?”

He nodded.

“I don’t know… how do you feel about it?”

“I liked it.”

“Of course you did,” You smiled, holding your hands out, “I’m a fucking terrific shag, I told you.”

“Yeh realleh are.” He grinned at you; smile after smile after smile…

“But…”

“But…”

“You know we can’t be together right now.”

“I know it.” He nodded, not even the slightest bit put off. “I’ve been finkin’ a lot about this all mornin’—“

“How long were you up before me?” You interjected, thoroughly convinced he’d been sleeping soundly beside you the whole time.

“Couple of hours. But thas because I were finkin’ about ‘ow good yeh made meh feel last night, ‘ow good yeh make meh feel all the time, and how I need that.”

“And you _deserve_ that. That’s more important.”

“I know, love. I fink it’s slowly starting to sink in…”

“Well thank fuck! Only took you thirty-three years you idiot!” You threw your hands up in the air and he chuckled.

“Also. I know yeh can give meh all those fings I need, but, I’m not readeh yet. Fink I need some time for meself.”

“Listen… if I knew you were gonna start having these kind of epiphanies, I would’ve fucked you a long time ago.”

“Will yeh knock it off?” He grinned, his voice deep and lazy and thick like molasses in the morning. “It were a lot of fings. I do need to loosen up and relax.”

“And you need to stop running from your bullshit and sort out your life before you move on to someone new again.” You pointed your fork at him and reached for your mug. “You can’t tell me you don’t miss your home, Alex. I know this house is also your home, but it’s not like the one you had with her.”

“Alreadeh decided I’m gonna head back at the end of the month.”

“Good for you. It’s bloody fucking cold here this time of year, and you could use a good tan.” He gave you a look and you sat up, “What? I saw you butt ass naked last night and you were lookin’ a little pasty…”

“And you weren’t?” HIs eyebrow arched, as he reached for your chair and pulled you closer, your knee between his.

“How dare you…” You hissed as he wound his arms around you, hugging you close and burying his face in your neck. His nose was cold and you squirmed.

“Joost pulling yehr leg. Yeh’re gorgeous, love.”

//

“Can I ask yeh summat?”

The two of you were walking along after the pub that evening with your pup taking the lead, nosing about on the snowy street.

“No, you can not _adopt_ Biscoff _.”_

“Not tha.” Alex laughed, shoving his hands deeper in his coat pockets, his knit cap pulled down tightly over his ears and his scarf nearly muffling his voice.

“Will I choke you if we shag again?” You raised an eyebrow at him and he nudged you so hard you stumbled.

“Not tha!… Alreyt… yes tha,” He grinned sheepishly, his cheeks burning brighter as the embarrassment crept up. “But also… when I get me shit all sorted out and I’ve spent some time wiv meself… would yeh consider… going on a date wiv meh?”

“Ah… romance in the twenty-first century. Fuck first, date after.”

“Technically weh’ve been friends for ages, so weh alreadeh know each other.” Alex pointed out, admiring the way the snow fell on your eyelashes and the way your eyes sparkled under the lamplights as you passed under.

“Only joking.” You breathed, feeling your stomach knot. “Listen… if you get yourself together and there’s no one you’re interested in during that time… then I’ll date you.”

“Whoa! I said _a_ date. Dating? Yeh tryin’ teh be me girlfriend or summat ?”

“Not as bad as you wanna be my boyfriend! Get out of here!” You shoved him, and he chuckled, getting a bit closer this time, enough so that you could lean on him as you walked.

“I would like to be yehr boyfriend. Weh’d be good for each other I fink. But in that time… if yeh meet someone else, then I understand.”

It was your turn to snort, “You act as if I’ve got loads of men lined up to date me.”

“Everybody wants yeh, I can see it. I’ve always seen it. Yeh know who yeh are and yeh don’t need anyone. Admirable qualities. Thas why weh all want yeh.”

“I _knew_ you wanted me.” You cried in a hushed sort of victory.

Not realizing it, you’d both slowed to a stop. Alex with his big doe eyes, brimming with what looked liked tears peering out from between his cap and his collar.

“Are you crying, Alex?” You whispered, as the tears seemed to well up even more.

He sniffled, “M’not.”

“Oh my god…you pathetic thing, you…” You pouted and reached for him, “C’mere…” You wrapped your arms around him the best you could while still holding tight to the leash.

“I’m a fookin’ mess.” He confessed with a chuckle, still sniffling.

“Yes… you are. But it’s alright. We’re all a little fucked up.” You held him for awhile on that snowy street corner on the last friday of the last week of January, thinking of ways to make him smile. “For instance, I think my best guy friend has a really cute ass and absolutely adorable bedhead.”

“Hope yeh’re talkin’ ‘bout me.” Came his muffled voice from somewhere against your shoulder.

“As if there’s anybody else in this world with an ass like yours, Turner.”

That got him.

His body started shaking with laughter and Biscoff barked in confusion, upset about still being outside on a night like tonight.

“Look, you’ve upset Biscoff.”

He glanced up at the small dog in the middle of the sidewalk in his little jacket with his head cocked. His eyes looked an awful lot like Alex’s. “He’s worried about me.”

“Mmm… actually I think he’s pissed we stopped walking because it’s cold and he’s quite low to the ground, but…”

He looked at you with that eyebrow raised and you copied him before pressing your lips to his cheek. “Just kidding. He can tell you’re upset. Let’s get back to mine and you cuddle him all night for comfort if you want.”

“Alreyt.” He squeezed his arm around you tighter, “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can also [find me on Tumblr](https://hearteyesturner.tumblr.com/).


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